


love will come and find me again

by isthiswhattheycallwriting



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Everyone's happy, F/M, and since youre a pretty dangerous mutant, but basically in this story, kinda au because im blatantly pretending like infinity war and endgame arent a thing, no one's dead, tony and steve's dick measuring contest ended and everyone's a big happy family, you go to live with the avengers, your husband died during a mission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-11-07 20:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17967470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthiswhattheycallwriting/pseuds/isthiswhattheycallwriting
Summary: After an agent dies during a mission led by Steve and Bucky, they find out that the wife that he had hit from them is actually a rather dangerous mutant.  It also doesn't help that this mutant (aka you) needs a place to stay since her marriage was a 'You're my best friend and need to be hidden from HYDRA, and they'd never expect you to be a housewife' type of deal.  Vaguely inspired by the musical 'Bandstand.'





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this prologue is kind of third person but you also do get a little bit of Bucky's point of view. I'm sorry that it's kind of vague, but it's just kind of setting up what happened right before this story began and the next chapter will be in your point of view.

Bucky frowned as he crept down the hallway of the HYDRA compound.  Something felt wrong.  He knew it wasn’t the familiarity of the stark white walls or the vaguely sterile smell that he had grown accustomed to for seventy years.  He didn’t feel like he was going to slip back into the Winter Soldier’s mind or anything.  It was something else entirely.  When the feeling didn’t fade after a few seconds, he held up his hand, causing the men behind him to pause.  Steve, who was at his right, stopped to look at him.

“Buck?  What’s wrong?”  As the leader of the mission, Steve had every right to tell the men to continue and to ignore his command, but he knew his best friend and he trusted him, especially when it came to these types of missions.  Bucky was better at being able to tell when something wasn’t quite right in the atmosphere of the HYDRA compounds.

The brunette shook his head, listening quietly.  His bright blue eyes were narrowed, his eyebrows furrowed as he took stock of everything he could see, smell, and hear.  But none of those senses seemed to be what was triggering him.  It was just something he could feel, and that made him even more wary.  “Something feels wrong.  I don’t know what it is, but I’ve got this feeling in my gut—”

Before he could finish his sentence, the door at the end of the hallway busted open and HYDRA soldiers began to charge them.  There were only about twenty soldiers, but Steve and Bucky’s team only had five total, counting the two of them.  But that didn’t seem to matter because their squad began to fire back, and within a few minutes, it was over.  The HYDRA agents were dead.  The deafening silence that always took over after a shootout came over them.  But when a groan of pain sounded over his shoulder, Bucky knew that it was stupid to hope that none of their team had been wounded.  HYDRA soldiers nowadays were shitty, but not that shitty.

He turned to see Danny L/N, one of the younger agents, lying on the ground.  He was holding a hand to his abdomen but judging by the amount of sticky red blood pooling around him, he wasn’t doing a very good job stopping it.  Bucky rushed to him, ripping off his jacket and holding it onto the wound.

“Hold on, Danny.  We’re gonna get you to the jet and then you’ll be fixed up real good, okay?”

Steve and the others on the team had joined him, kneeling around him as one of the other agents—Mark, he thinks—calls for a medic.  “Danny, you’re going to be alright,” Steve said, his Captain America voice coming out.

Danny let out a faint laugh, though he winced in pain right after.  “Your Captain America voice is— _ugh_ —still just as impressive as it was the first time.  Shame this is the l-last time I’ll hear it.”

“Hey, don’t speak like that,” Bucky replied sternly, his voice a lot gruffer than his blond best friend’s.  No matter how many times an agent or soldier died in front of him, it never got any easier.  And Danny was young.  Only about twenty-five, if he remembered right.  He had a wicked sense of humor and was always one of the people on the team that tried to keep everyone’s spirits up, even when the going got tough.

“I-I know I’m not gonna make it to the jet, Buck.”  Danny groaned as he shut his eyes tightly, taking a moment before continuing.  “Promise me y-you’ll take care of my wife.  She’s all alone an-and she needs someone.”

“You’re going to be that someone,” Steve said.  He looked up, searching for the medics that should’ve been there by now.

The younger man on the ground shook his head.  “N-No, you don’t understand.  Promise m-me— _fuck_ —that you’ll l-look over her.”  Danny grasped at Bucky’s hand, squeezing it weakly.  “Fury wi-will know why.  Get Fury as soon as y-you’re in the jet.”  Bucky just kept nodding, watching as the life quickly faded from his eyes.  “And t-tell her I love her.  I know our m-marriage wasn’t one about love, bu-but she’s my best friend, okay?  She’s gotta know I love her and I d-don’t regret it.”  When he just nodded again, Danny continued, “Promise me.”

“I promise.”

Bucky felt his heart clench in his chest as he finally went limp, though he continued to hold onto his still-warm hand.  By the time the medics were there, Danny was starting to go cold.  Watching with tired eyes, he allowed Steve to pull him away so that they could put him into the body bag.  It felt so wrong.  It reminded him of when he was in his mid-twenties and fighting in World War II.  He had watched loads of young men like Danny go down, had held their hand.  But none of them had had a request quite like his.  It didn’t sit right.  If Fury had a hand in it…  He shook his head, walking back towards the jet with the rest of the team.

“I’ll call Fury.”

* * *

 Bucky looked up as Steve nudged him.  They had just gotten off the quinjet and low and behold, who should be in the hangar of the Avengers Compound other than Fury. “You rang?”  He had his usual stone-cold expression on his face.

Steve sighed as he held out his hand for him to shake.  “Yes.  Danny L/N, the one who died today, said to call you.  Something about his wife.  He seemed really—”

The man raised his hand, effectively silencing the supersoldier.  Bucky simply watched silently from across the room.  “I already know about Y/N L/N.  We’ve already picked her up and she’s with Wanda and Natasha now.”

“Why is she with them?” Bucky asked, his face stoic.

“She doesn’t trust men.”

He rolled his eyes.  “Fury, that’s not what I mean.  Danny was saying that she needed someone to take care of her.  Is she a child bride or something?  I didn’t take the kid to be sick like that.”

Maria raised her eyebrows at him.  “No.  She’s perfectly legal.”

“Then what’s going on?”

Fury nodded towards the doors.  “Follow me.”

The two glanced at each other before following after him and Maria, all the way to the Avengers living area.  Both of them were growing more and more confused as they entered the living room area.

Bucky could see Wanda and Natasha sitting on the couch, their backs to them.  There was a third head of H/C hair in between him, sipping on a cup of tea.

“Ladies,” Maria said as she cleared her throat.

The three of them turned around, and Bucky froze as he looked into the most beautiful pairs of eyes he had ever seen.  But the girl in front of him began to back up, fear filling those stunning E/C eyes.  He watched as Natasha rested a hand on her shoulder, whispering something in her ear that made her relax.

“Rogers, Barnes,” Fury said as he walked closer to the couch.  “This is Y/N L/N, Danny’s wife.”

Bucky shook his head to clear his head of thoughts about her eyes, feeling a pang of guilt.  Her husband’s body was still warm and he was sitting there thinking about how gorgeous his wife was.

“Where’s Danny?”  Her voice was like molasses.  Smooth and sweet.  Wanda’s hand was clutching Y/N’s as she turned to look up at the two supersoldiers.  And that’s when it hit Bucky.

She didn’t know.  Y/N didn’t know that her husband had died.

He glanced over at Steve, who nodded in understanding.  “Mrs. L/N…  Your husband died today on a mission.  He fought courageously, and it was an honor to serve with him.”

Y/N’s face crumpled as she dissolved into tears.  Sobs wracked her body as she shook her head.  “H-He can’t be dead.  He told me he’d be home f-for dinner.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, ma’am.”

Bucky knew how much Steve hated this part of the job, but he was better with words and condolences than any of the other Avengers, strangely enough.  He clapped a hand on his friend’s back, nodding at him as familiar blue eyes glanced back at him.

“I’m going to take Y/N to a guest room to rest and process,” Natasha said, giving Fury a pointed look as her and Wanda helped the young woman to her feet.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Bucky and Steve whirled to look at Fury and Maria.  “This doesn’t explain anything,” Bucky said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Well, you can see she’s not a child bride,” Fury offered, a bit of a smirk on his lips as he moved towards the kitchen.  He nonchalantly pulled out a glass and some Scotch, pouring himself a glass before turning back to the others.

 _She’s definitely not a child_ , Bucky thought to himself.  She was about Danny’s age, though he was definitely a few years older.

“Fury,” Steve said quietly.

Fury nodded at Maria, who handed a file to both Bucky and Steve.  Neither of them bothered to open it, wanting to get the information straight from Fury and Hill.  “Y/N L/N is a mutant.  HYDRA kidnapped her when she was only eight years old and experimented on her until we rescued her when she was seventeen.  She can manipulate the human body in various ways and is incredibly dangerous.”

Bucky scoffed.  “Her?  Dangerous?  She looked about as dangerous as a newborn bunny.”

“She can both heal and kill people using her mind, as well as manipulate their emotions,” Maria said, her eyes narrowed on him.  “While she might not like her powers, she still has them, and when she’s in distress, they tend to go haywire.  She’s more dangerous that you might think, Barnes.”

“So she’s like Wanda,” Steve said, trying to get the focus away from his best friend’s lack of a filter.

“Exactly, except she chose to live as a normal citizen.”

Bucky shook his head.  “But how did she know Danny?”

Fury sat down, taking a sip of his Scotch as he motioned for the others to join him.  As soon as they did, he continued, “He was one of the agents to rescue her and had a big hand in her recovery.  He was only twenty-two when they first met.”

“He said their marriage wasn’t one for love.  Why is that?”  Steve leaned forward, leaning his arms on his knees.

“In order to keep HYDRA from finding her again, we had to keep her in a safehouse undercover.  The only problem is that the only people she trusted were Danny, Maria, and me.  Danny offered to take care of her, so she could be in a safehouse and have someone she trusted always looking out for her.”

“That doesn’t explain the marriage bit,” Bucky replied, raising his eyebrows.

Fury shrugged.  “It was the easiest way to get her a name change without people getting suspicious.  We rescued her right before SHIELD fell apart, and we didn’t know how many HYDRA agents knew about her.  We still don’t know how many have infiltrated the United States government.”

“And she agreed to it?”

“Danny was one of three people she trusted,” Maria interjected, having been watching quietly for a few minutes.  “And even if there were no romantic feelings, they loved one another.  Plus, we knew he would do anything to keep her a secret.”

Steve scoffed.  “No kidding.  He’s been on our team for over a year now, and we never even knew he had a wife.”

Fury stood, throwing back the rest of his drink.  “Y/N’s going to be staying here at the compound for now.  We think that being around Wanda and others who are familiar with mutants will be good for her.  And it’s the safest place for her right now.”

“Did Tony agree to it?” Bucky asked.

The tall, dark man had already started heading for the door with Maria following close behind.  “He’s the one who suggested it.”


	2. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ba da ba ba da ba. this is kind of filler. just getting everything started.

You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you.  Like someone had just sucker punched you in the gut.

Your best friend was dead.

Your husband was dead.

Your Danny was dead.

He would never be coming back, and it was all you could think about.  There would be no more Friday nights spent at the local movie theater, no more Chinese nights.  He wouldn’t stumble in after a mission, barely able to keep his eyes open, only for you to lead him to the bedroom, where you’d change him into his favorite pajamas and tuck him into bed.  He always slept an ungodly amount after missions, and it had always hurt your heart to see what he went through.

But there’d be no more of that.

Because he was gone.

Black Widow and Scarlet Witch—Natasha and Wanda, as they requested for you to call them—were kind and quiet, knowing that it was best to use soft voices and slow movement.  Your emotions were all over the place and you could feel the power in your body just simmering, ready to be unleashed at the first harsh sound or movement.

They had taken you to one of the empty bedrooms, which they informed you was right down the hall from theirs.  You were across the hall from James Barnes, who you had apparently just met.

You were so out of it, you honestly had no idea.  Everything in the past few hours had felt like a blur.

Nick Fury and Maria Hill had shown up at your door, saying the familiar phrase that Danny and you had decided would be the code for ‘you can open the door.’  When you had first married him at the tender age of eighteen, you had sat down and decided that “ _Breakfast at Tiffany’s_ is on an hour” would be the phrase to let you know that you could open the door without fear.  They had told you that they needed you at base, which had immediately filled you with fear.  The only places you had been in the past few years was your home, the movie theatre, the grocery store, and the library down the street.  Going to the Avengers base meant that something had happened to Danny.  You had hoped that he was just injured, and he had requested they pick you up so you didn’t panic, but there was a feeling in your gut that said it wasn’t just that.

As soon as you had arrived at the compound, you had been introduced to Natasha and Wanda.  Fury must’ve noticed how you reacted to the male agents that had been walking around the garage.  The two women had ushered you into their living space, speaking soothing words to get you to remain calm.

It would be nice, except that you knew it was to keep you from unleashing your powers.

The last time you had unleashed your powers was during a therapy session.  Once a day, Dr. Christine Williams would show up at your door, saying the safe words before you let her in.  You knew that Fury—or whoever was signing your husband’s paychecks now—paid a lot of money for her.  For one, she was there at your house every day for two hours.  And second, she also specialized in helping you to learn to control your powers by learning to control your emotions.  She had also diagnosed you with PTSD, borderline personality disorder, depression, and extreme anxiety.  That had resulted in a collection of prescriptions that you kept in a neat little line in the bathroom cabinet.  Then on Sundays every week, you’d fill your little weekly pill organizer so that each morning and night, you could just take them all in one gulp.  It had taken you a while to agree to the pills, memories of HYDRA keeping you drugged flooding your mind, but Danny had eventually gotten you to come around.

Right now, you just really needed a Xanax.

The thought of the agents going through your home sent a wave of panic through you.  They were supposed to pack up all your belongings and bring them to the compound, but the thought of them going through the house—your home—made you shaky.  The home you had made with Danny was small, but it was yours.  It was the first bit of normalcy you had had in a long ass time.  Sure, it was a marriage of romance, but it was a marriage of love, nonetheless.  You were best friends, confidantes.  There was nothing you couldn’t depend on each other for.  And now that normalcy was being disrupted in the worst of ways.

The thought made you stand from where the two women had left you and leave the room.  You wandered until you found the common area just down the hall, your hands shaking violently.  It had been about an hour since they had left you in what you had assumed was now your room, and all you had done was stare at the wall while tears streamed down your cheeks.

It’s strange that the thought of needing medication was enough to get you out of your stupor.

You could hear voices coming from the communal area, a lot more than the four people you had already met.  You froze in the doorway, looking out at the scene in front of you.  Natasha and Wanda were there, as well as Steve and Bucky, but they had been joined by Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner, Vision, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, and Thor.  You were suddenly very self-conscious and began to wipe desperately at your eyes.

It was Natasha who realized you were there first.  She was sitting at the kitchen island, sipping on what looked like a vodka on the rocks.  She glanced away from where Sam Wilson was making dinner, having sensed another person’s presence, and her eyes locked on where you were standing in the door way.

“Y/N,” she said in surprise, sitting up.  As the others turned to look at you, the redhead stood and walked over to you, holding her hand out for you to take.  “Sam’s making dinner.  Do you want to join us?”  She frowned a little, though she was understanding as your eyes flicked over the mass amount of men in the room.  Most of which possessed more than three times the strength of a normal man.  “You can sit between Wanda and me,” she whispered so that only you would hear.  “But I can promise you that they won’t hurt you.”

Your eyes finally turned from the group of people that were staring at you in curiosity, locking onto yours.  Her green eyes were filled with such sincerity.  There was also a hardness in them.  It was the same look that Danny had gotten any time you had gotten scared.  In her eyes was a promise that she would protect you.  Biting your lip, you slowly nodded, and watched as a grin lifted her lips.

You placed your hand in hers, and she led you to the kitchen island, ordering Clint Barton and Vision to move so that you could sit beside Natasha and Wanda could sit on the other side of you.  As soon as she was beside you, Wanda had slipped her hand into yours and squeezed it.

“So who’s this?” Sam asked as he glanced back at you, a warm smile on his lips.

“This is Y/N L/N,” Wanda said, her accent giving your name a slightly different sound than you were used to.  You smiled at her faintly, gratefully.  “She’s going to be staying with us for a little while.”

“The more the merrier!” Thor shouted, his booming voice causing you to flinch back and withdraw into yourself.

Natasha cleared her throat, fixing Thor with a look.  “Quiet voices would be much appreciated, thank you.”

“Natasha,” you whispered, your voice coming out as a croak.

She immediately turned to you, worry painting her features.  “Yes?”

“I…”  You were so very aware of all the people pretending to not be listening to the two of you.  It made your palms sweat and your mouth go dry.  “I re-really need my medication.”

Realization dawned on her and she nodded.  “What do you need?”

“X-Xanax.”

Natasha bit her lip and she squeezed your hand before getting up and heading to one of the cabinets, which hade a key pad on it, strangely enough.  She punched in a code that was hidden from your view before opening it and grabbing a pill bottle.  Within thirty seconds, she was pressing a small pill into your hand and a glass of water.

“The agents should be back with all your things, including your medication soon, but we keep extra stuff on hand in case someone here forgets to refill their prescription,” she said, her voice barely audible.

Your brows creased.  “You guys are on medication?”

She nodded, a little bit sadly.  “Every single one of us.  I took the Xanax from Bucky’s extra bottles, but he won’t mind.  He’s been where you are more than once.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So, Y/N,” Tony said, bringing your attention away from the woman beside you.  “If there’s anything you need—anything at all—just ask F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

He grinned, clearly getting excited at the thought that he was about to introduce you to something really cool.  “It’s our A.I. system.  She’s programmed throughout the compound and kind of works as a butler.  Whatever you need, she’ll get.”  He waved his hand.  “Try it.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” You said, your voice meek and uncertain.

“Yes, Mrs. L/N?”

You jumped at the voice, Wanda’s hand squeezing yours in a subtle reminder that you were okay.  Blatantly ignoring the shocked looks the others were giving you, you continued, “Uh…  Hi.  Tony told me to try calling your name.”

The A.I. responded again, and if it was possible for a robotic voice to have mirth in it, it would.  “That’s alright, Mrs. L/N.  I’m here for whatever you need.”

“Oh, uh, th-thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

The A.I. then went silent, except for the sound of whatever Sam was cooking.

“You’re married?” Clint said, shaking his head.

You were conflicted on how to respond.  Were you married?  Danny was dead now, and that technically meant you were now single.  “I was.  H-He, uh…  He was an agent.”

Everyone around you seemed to understand your use of past tense as they all turned back to their conversations.

“I hope you like chili, Y/N,” Sam mused as he began to spoon out bowls.  “Because dinner is served.”

Well now your just felt like a bitch.  You smiled as the bowl was placed in front of you, moving your spoon around it noncommittedly.  While the others dove in, you just hummed as you listened to the various conversations happening around you.

“Y/N?  You okay?”

You looked up to see Bucky staring at you from a few seats down.  His icy blue eyes were filled with concern as he searched your face for something, anything.  “Y-Yeah…  As good as I can be, I suppose…”

Sam seemed to instantly become anxious.  “Is something wrong with the food?”

“No!” You said quickly, shaking your head as you glanced back down at it.  “I, uh…  I’m just…  I’m a vegetarian.”

The others didn’t seem to know how to reply to that before Bucky let out a snort, smiling down into his own chili.  That sent the rest of them into various levels of laughter.  Sam immediately pulled out another pot, setting it on the stove before pulling out ingredients.  He said something about a vegetable chili being done within ten minutes, but you were too busy staring at the bowl in front of you in a bit of embarrassment.

“Any particular reason?” Steve asked, taking a bite of his own dinner.

Shrugging, you glanced up at the blonde.  “I haven’t had a lot of choice in my life.  Most of the time my decisions, no matter how small, were made for me.  And my diet is one thing I can control.”  You could feel your palms getting a little sweaty.  “And I know that it’s dumb, but if I can live the rest of my life from hurting another living creature, then that’s what I’m going to do.  Even if it means not eating meat.”

“Hey, that’s pretty damn respectable, if you ask me,” Sam said with a warm smile as he slid a bowl in front of you.  “That’s one hundred percent vegetarian, sweetheart.”

And it was pretty damn good, too.


	3. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You mess up and make a new friend.

The next morning, you were awoken by the sound of knocking on your door.  You were immediately on alert as you crept towards the door, doing your best not to make a sound.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” you said quietly, hoping that it was loud enough for the A.I. to pick it up, “who’s outside the door?”

“Natasha is outside, Mrs. L/N.”

Biting your lip, you hesitated for a moment before opening the door to see the redhead standing before you.  She was leaning against the doorframe, twirling a knife in her hand.  “Natasha, what’re you doing here?  It’s…”  You took a moment to look at the clock.  “It’s four in the morning.”

“Get dressed,” she said as she stood up straight.  “Be in the common room in five minutes.  We’re training.”

“What?”  You watched her in shock as she began to walk back down the hallway away from you.  “Why?”

“Because even if you’re not an agent, you should know how to defend yourself.”  She shot you one last look before going out of view.

You shut the door, leaning back against it with a huff.  Training.  At five in the morning.  “Oh, Danny,” you murmured as you stared up at the ceiling, tears pricking your eyes.  “I wish you were here right now.”

But nevertheless, ten minutes later Natasha had dragged you to the gym that was on the ground floor of the compound.  You pulled your hair into a messy ponytail while following her out to the mats.

“We’re going to get some basic defensive moves in your body first.  We’ll spend about an hour and half with that every morning before doing strength and cardio training.  That way, it’ll become muscle memory.”  Natasha stood in front of you, seemingly wide awake for it being 4:30 AM.  The sun hadn’t even risen, and she was perky and energetic as ever.  “Place your feet like mine, and hold your fists up to guard your face.”  She scowled as you tried to copy her before walking over.  “Your stance isn’t strong enough.”

“But I’m doing exactly what you we—”  You were cut off as Nat swung out and hit behind your knee, causing you to buckle and fall to the floor.

She looked at you with zero sympathy in her eyes as she watched you stand back up.  “If you want to be strong, we have to start with the foundation.  If your base isn’t strong, then everything else is just a bunch of fancy party tricks that won’t do you any good.”  She motioned towards your legs.  “Again.”

It felt like the two of you sat there forever before she was finally a tiny bit satisfied with your stance.  It had actually only been about twenty minutes, but by the end, your legs felt like jelly.  You were littered with bruises and felt like punching Natasha, not that it would do you any good.

At around five, other agents slowly started to trickle in, starting with Bucky and Steve.  You noticed that they stayed on the other side of the mats, though you knew they were keeping a close eye on the two of you.  Everyone seemed to give Nat and you a wide berth, which you knew had to do with the redhead’s intimidating glare.

“Again.”

You huffed as you wiped sweat from your brow, getting back into your beginning stance.  You could feel yourself getting more and more frustrated with every time she made you start again, and it was starting to show.  You were getting sloppy.

It all came to a head when Natasha knocked you off your feet.  The second your head hit the ground, you felt it.  The loss of control.  You were so disoriented from the fall that you didn’t even realize the redhead was screaming until you saw various agents running towards the two of you.  Quickly getting your powers back under your control, you stood there like a deer in the headlights as you watched Steve tend to Nat.  The other agents around you were staring at you, the heat from their eyes only making you more nervous.

Without a second thought, you ran from the gym, heading for your room.

Bucky started to run after you, calling your name, but he let out a huff of frustration as the door shut behind you.

“Nat, are you okay?”  Steve was helping her sit up, his hands guiding her.  Neither of the men were entirely sure what had happened.  One second, you and Natasha had been sparring like any other agents, and the next you were on the ground and the redheaded Avenger was screaming and crying from pain.

Buck finally turned back to the two of them.  “What the hell just happened?”

“Y/N…”  Nat grunted, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.  “Y/N’s head hit the floor and I just felt…  All of this pain.  It was excruciating.”

Steve looked up, a little bit of mirth in his blue eyes.  “What was that you said about her being as dangerous as a bunny?”

* * *

You weren’t sure why you kept pacing.  It did absolutely nothing for the panic simmering in your chest, but it wasn’t as though you could sit still.  Your cheek were stained with tears and your hands continued to shake.  You knew you needed your medication, but there was no way in hell you were going to leave your room and risk facing the Avengers.  You had lost control and hurt one of their own.  You gave it less than twenty-four hours before you were thrown out on your ass.

And the worst part, was that it felt good.  You had kept your powers under lock and key for so long that it had been euphoric to let it go.  Even if it was just for a minute.  The last time she had used her powers was to heal Danny after he burnt himself on the grill.  It was the first week of summer after she had moved in with him and he had assured her several times that it was okay to use her powers.  He had trusted her, even though she could’ve easily killed him with just a thought.

And you could’ve accidentally killed Natasha.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes, Mrs. Y/N?”

Glancing towards the door to your room, you bit your lip.  “Can you make sure to not let anyone in?”

The A.I. seemed to hesitate.  “Are you sure, Mrs. L/N?  I don’t advi—”

“Please?”

There was a long pause.  “As you wish, Mrs. L/N.”

You crawled into the bed, burrowing yourself under the covers until you were enveloped in the warm darkness.  “Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes, Mrs. L/N?”

“Call me Y/N.”

* * *

Almost all of the Avengers had gathered in the medical bay after the incident in the gym.  Natasha was sitting on a medical bed, despite how much she protested that she was fine, and the others were surrounding her.

“Tell me exactly what happened again,” Tony said as he absentmindedly played with his beard.

The redhead rolled her eyes as she ripped out the I.V. that Bruce had hooked her up to.  “I’ve already told you the story three times, and you have the video footage from the gym.  Her head hit the ground, and next thing I knew, I was in a massive amount of pain.  As soon as she realized what was happening, she got her powers back under control and ran.”

“Has anyone tried to talk to her since?”

Everyone turned to look where Wanda was standing, anger radiating off of her.  Her hands were on her hips and the air around her seemed to crackle with energy.

She scoffed as she watched the others begin to look down, avoiding her gaze.  “You all are unbelievable.  I can understand Natasha not going, because Bruce is being overprotective, but no one else?”  When no one seemed to catch what she was saying, she continued, “She’s scared, just like I was when I first got here.  This is the first time she’s been outside of her and Danny’s house in years.  She was also with HYDRA a lot longer than I was.”  Wanda turned to look at Tony, her stare softening as she thought about you locked away in your room.  “Don’t you remember how I was when I first got here?”

“You needed us,” Natasha said quietly as she swung her legs over the side of the bed to sit up.  “You just lost your brother and everything you knew.”

“She just lost her best friend and her husband.”

“How were we supposed to go check on her?” Sam asked, a little disgruntled.  “Fury himself said she doesn’t trust men.”

Nat rolled her eyes, grabbing a pen from the table next to her and throwing it at him.  “Then show her you’re not like those other men, you asshole.  Don’t use her wariness as an excuse.”

Bucky suddenly stood from where he had been sitting on top of one of the metal tables.  “I’ll go.”

And then he was out the door, and heading for the residential area.  He took a deep breath as he stood outside the door that was across the hallway from his own room.  After a moment’s hesitation, he raised his fist and knocked.  “Y/N?  It’s Bucky.  Can I come in?”

Silence was the only reply.

“Y/N?”  He knocked again, frowning as he pressed his ear to the door of her room.  He couldn’t hear anything, which either meant you were asleep or you had gotten F.R.I.D.A.Y. to send your room into lockdown.  “F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes, Mr. Barnes?”

“Is Y/N asleep?”

“No.”

“Did she lock her room.”

“Yes.”

Buck let out a huff of air as he leaned against the wall next to the door, trying to decide what to do next.  He knew how to get around the lockdown (which Tony called Jail Cell Mode, despite everyone refusing to call it that) but he knew that breaking into your room might send you into even more of a panic.  He leaned his forehead against the door of her room, sighing.  “F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes?”

“Is Y/N safe?”

“Y/N is not in any immediate danger, Mr. Barnes.  She is currently in bed, though not asleep.”

Thinking quickly, Bucky replied, “Thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”  He then headed for the kitchen, a plan forming in his head.  He vaguely registered F.R.I.D.A.Y. replying to him but didn’t stick around to find out what she had said.  He pulled down the tea pot Tony had ordered him a few months ago, filling it with water and setting it on the stove.  He then began to move around the kitchen, quickly putting together the familiar meal.

It was about thirty minutes later that he had two bowls of vegetable soup and two cups of tea and was once again at your door.  “F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you open Y/N’s door for me?”

“Mr. Barnes, Y/N asked me—”

He huffed, his right hand starting to burn.  “F.R.I.D.A.Y., I know how to break lockdowns on rooms.  But I’d rather not have to.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn’t reply, but there was a soft click and Bucky opened up the door.  “Y/N?  It’s me, Bucky.  I brought food.”  When you didn’t reply, he stepped into the room and his eyes immediately went to where you were curled up under the blankets, fast asleep.

But as soon as he got past the door, it was like a switch had been flipped.  You were wide awake and across the room, backed into a corner of the room.  Your e/c eyes were wide with fear.

“Y/N, it’s just me,” Bucky said softly, his low voice rumbling.  He held up the bowls and the tea before motioning to the bed.  “May I sit?”

You slowly nodded, though you stayed in your corner.  You were still in the workout clothes from that morning.  Your hair had half fallen out of the ponytail.  There was a line down your face from the pillow.

You watched silently as Bucky sat on the bed, setting all the food on the bedside table.  He then took one of the bowls and began to eat out of it as you watched him.  “My ma used to make this vegetable soup for my sister and me, back in the thirties.  It was the best we could do with all the rations.”  He motioned vaguely to the other bowl.  “I made sure to make it without meat, though she’d usually put in a little bit of beef.”  He couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at his bowl.  “She used to put extra beef in Steve’s when he came over, trying to get him to gain some weight.  Never worked, but she sure as hell tried.”  His blue eyes flickered back up to meet yours.  “Do you have anything like that?  Food your mom used to make?”

Your brow furrowed as you tried to think back to the time before you had been kidnapped.  Sometimes you would get flashes of that life, and it would feel like you were watching a vintage movie.  You could remember your parents in bits and pieces.  Your mother’s eyes.  Your father’s grin.  The smell of cookies wafting out of the house when you got home from school.

“If you can’t remember, that’s okay.  I under—”

“Cookies,” you said softly, effectively cutting him off.  Your hands fidgeted with the hem of your shirt as you focused on the memory of that smell, trying to keep it in your head for as long as possible.  “But not chocolate chip.  Snickerdoodle.  She’d make them for me to eat after school or when I was upset.”  You looked at him for a long moment before you moved forward and grabbed the second bowl from the bedside table, sitting on the other end of the bed.

It was quiet for a few minutes, the only sound being the clink of the silverware and the occasional slurping of the spoon.  “Natasha isn’t upset with you, just so you know,” he said, his voice barely audible.  “She knows that you didn’t mean to lose control.”

“I hurt her.”

And oh, that made Bucky’s heart clench inside his chest.  The way your voice cracked and your hands shook.  He recognized that kind of guilt.  He had carried it for years and it had taken a lot of time before he began to think he could possibly be worthy of redemption.  “Nat’s tough.  And she just wants you to be okay.”  He couldn’t help but smile a little as he set the now empty bowl to the side to drink his tea.  “She actually yelled at Bruce for babying her.”

You huffed a little as you pushed the vegetables around the bowl.  “I’m a monster.”

“I used to say the same thing about myself, you know.”  At your confused look, Buck said, “For seventy years, I was under the control of HYDRA.”  He paused.  “Well, it was more like sixty.  It took them about ten years to break me down.  But, I spent sixty years doing their dirty work.”  He watched as you stared straight ahead, your eyes glazed over as your mind went somewhere else.  “Both of us were taken against our will.  What happened to us wasn’t our fault, Y/N.”  He stood up, grabbing his empty bowl.  “Whenever you’re ready, feel free to join me in the common area.  I’ll be the one trying to catch up on pop culture by watching a shit ton of movies in one sitting.”

You nodded, biting your lip as you watched him walk out the door.  It was only five minutes later when you stood and followed him out the door.


End file.
